I feel like a bad person.
Why do I feel like a bad person, you may be asking yourself?
Well, because I didn't finish The Fault in our Stars.
I feel like the world's biggest tool right now.
I have REASONS.
See, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this book. The writing is flawless, the story is engaging, it's all so realistic.
That, my friends, is the problem. It's TOO realistic for me.
See, my younger brother went through cancer when we were kids. There were times when we thought we might lose him. It was the scariest time of MY life, and I wasn't even the one who was sick. It's not a time that I relish reliving, but I thought maybe I was ready.
Not even a little bit.
I UGLY CRIED through the parts of the book that I did read (I got about 2/3 through before it just became too much). I went down a road that I thought I was ready to travel, but I really wasn't.
I thought to myself that I could have been terribly offended by the humor in the book. I wasn't. That's how cancer is. The gallows humor gets you through some of the hard times.
I could have taken issue with the fact that I laughed in a cancer story. I didn't. See, there are times when you MUST laugh. Otherwise, you are smothered by the sadness and overwhelming feeling that it's never going to be okay.
There were things I loved about the parts that I was able to finish. I loved that both teens are deliciously sarcastic and so intelligent. Their lives weren't about the latest trend, device, or whatnot. They were focused on LIVING and making memories. I loved that. I loved that they had supportive, amazing families (I don't know if that changes later on in the book, but I highly doubt it). I loved that they were able to look their disease in the face and KEEP ON LIVING. See, John Green is a genius. Really and truly. The man can write. I will be reading more of his stuff.
The only thing I didn't love about this book was my reaction to it. I just wasn't ready for the torrent of emotions that jumped out at me. I wasn't ready to go back down that road. I couldn't handle the onslaught. I didn't want to keep ugly crying in public (yes, I DID THAT - right in the middle of a grocery store. I had to leave.).
In the end, it's a book that I would HIGHLY recommend to anyone needing a realistic look at an issue. It's just not one that I can read myself.